Dumbest things You have seen on the water

11,427 · August 7, 2013

This was about 25 years ago. My family had a resort and I spent the summers pumping gas and launching boats at the marina. Over the years there were so many things you see but this one was by far the best. I was helping a guy launch his boat and my brother and brother in-law were going to ski from the beach next to the ramp so we were watching them as this unfolds.
My brother is teaching brother in-law to step start on a slalom ski from the beach. The boat he is using is a very small outboard with a small engine so you need a a lot of slack to get up to speed. My brother takes off and my brother in-law steps onto the water a bit early which creates a huge jerk against the boat when the slack comes out of the line. My brother in-law does hold on to the rope and actually gets up on the ski. Here is the problem. My brother was the only one in the boat and sitting on the top of the seat looking back, when the slack come out of the line the jerk was hard enough that my brother falls out of the boat. As my brother in-law passes him in the water he realizes that no one is in the boat and lets go of the rope. The boat is now headed out on its own toward the middle of the lake. After a couple hundred yards it hits a wave which turns the steering wheel and after about two circles flips upside down and sinks. There is a small air pocket in the front of the bow so about a foot of the boat is out of the water.
I am kind of in disbelief as to what just happened. I tell the guy I am helping launch his boat, it's a wonder these tourists don't kill themselves, I better go help them out. Wasn't about to tell the guy that was my brother who grew up on the lake and should have been much smarter than that. We did manage to get the boat back to the marina, floating and the engine running before my Dad found out it was my brother that had done this.
Wish I would have had that on video.
Kris

That's the funniest thing I've ever read on this site!

1,686 · August 7, 2013

My brother is teaching brother in-law to step start on a slalom ski from the beach. The boat he is using is a very small outboard with a small engine so you need a a lot of slack to get up to speed. My brother takes off and my brother in-law steps onto the water a bit early which creates a huge jerk against the boat when the slack comes out of the line. My brother in-law does hold on to the rope and actually gets up on the ski. Here is the problem. My brother was the only one in the boat and sitting on the top of the seat looking back, when the slack come out of the line the jerk was hard enough that my brother falls out of the boat.

That is exactly the way we used to step start with our 55hp outboard--one wingspan's length of rope slack, pull the handle in tight to your chest and use your arms to absorb the shock. We never had anyone fall out, but we did have the lag bolts rip out of the wooden floor (50's Dorsett) and suddenly the driver finds himself looking at the sky.

Great story!

August 7, 2013

Great stories guys. Some days we just go sit in the boat by the launch because the entertainment value is priceless. Just thankful that we keep our boat on a lift and don't have to deal with the launch much. Some of my favorite ones to watch are the pontoon boats loading. Keep the stories coming they are great.

August 7, 2013

Unfortunately, it's not always "the other guy". Some of us have had a bonehead moment, or two,... or ten. doh!

Here's one on me from a few years ago:

A few weeks after I got the Malibu, we were surfing late on the Ohio river. As the sun had just set, we quit surfing, turned on the navigation lights, and were dumping ballast tanks, putting stuff away in the rear lockers, and were floating down river. We were just upstream of a big bend in the river, and about 50yds off an island, staying out of the middle of the channel. As we floated downstream, everything was clear, and not many boats were out that night. We were just putting the boards away after a good session, and then going to head back to the ramp.

Suddenly, a spotlight hits us, and I look up to see a huge barge just off my starboard side about to pass us. It was heading upstream towards us, fast, high, and empty. It was so close that I remember looking up in the air to see it. I hadn't heard it, as we had 4 ballast pumps and 2 Tsunami pumps going, and were just focused on emptying the rear locker bags. When these barges run empty and high out of the water like that, there's apparently a big blind spot right in front of them on their radar, so I guess he didn't see me, and I know I didn't see him. I wasn't directly in his path, but it was definitely the closest I've come to one on the move. And it was way too close for comfort. I barely had to time to start the boat and move before the barge passed our position.

After quickly moving, I noticed that the barge was nearly invisible to see at that time of night. The lights of the barge blended right into the lights of the shoreline houses and car lights crossing the two bridges behind it. The dark barge hull blended in nearly perfectly with the surrounding shoreline trees. The low backlighting of the dusk sky made it nearly impossible to spot as it approached. The fact that the barge was empty, allowed it to travel extremely quick around the nearby turn in the river, and under the bridges towards us. It only took a few minutes of inattentiveness for me to almost get crushed. Needless to say, I stay away from floating in the barge channel at dusk; and stay on the inside of the islands if we surf that late into the evening.

Lesson learned: Even a small lack of judgment or inattentiveness can become serious in a hurry when you are on the water. We all know that, but when you experience it firsthand, it hits you. I had my lights on that night, but was paying more attention to what I was doing, than my surroundings. That was a close one; glad that I could learn from it, without a catastrophic mistake.

1,087 · August 7, 2013

I've only got to the see the drunk fights & one guy some how managed to jack knife his van & trailer under the dock with one rear wheel of the van on top of the dock the other under it & he's like "Hey man, do you think you can help me out". I have no idea what to do so I am trying to help him maneuver & he just cans it gets the van free & now has the trailer totally wedged under the dock. It was getting dark & I had to bolt, have no idea if he ever got out or what.

But one of the funniest things actually happened at the dirt bike track. This jackass comes tearing through the pits doing donuts & burnouts, stereo blaring & bassing out & his bike goes flying out the back of the truck & he just keeps going. He parks about 100 yards from where the bike fell, gets out, looks around & I start hearing "you stupid effing c**t, you dumb b***h, why didn't you strap my bike down properly". I thought he was gonna start beating her. Watching him walk to his bike throwing his fit was priceless. Guy must be hung like a horse cause that chica was way too hot to be putting up with that dudes s***. Of course now a crowd is laughing at his a**, he gets his bike, take its to the truck, puts in back & starts yelling "this is how you strap a bike down you stupid b***h". Then they leave. What an idiot.

Edited August 7, 2013 by racer808

1 Boat · August 7, 2013

Dumbest thing for me is like most, on the ramp.

Was up in the Okanagan a few years ago, and decided to spend a couple hours with my wife practicing backing the trailer down the ramp. We went to a nice quiet ramp (there was no one around for quite a distance, and no boats coming near the launch). We took our boat off, and anchored it so that she would have an empty trailer to see around.

About 45 minutes later we see a boat arrive. We do the honourable thing and drive up into the parking lot and keep out of the way. Driver comes up to us and says he's a truck driver and can back our trailer down the ramp. I point out that I am quite capable and just trying to give my wife some practice time with it. He then storms away saying that we are tying up the ramp (read above, there was nobody there), and that we should be in a field somewhere practicing this.

He then proceeds to slowly put his trailer down the ramp, then spends fifteen minutes trying to put their little boat on the trailer. They finally get it on (crooked) then drive up.

At which point, I back my trailer around a round-about, down the ramp and load up our boat in two.

When we drove away (boat secured and dried) they were still working on their trailer and boat. Dumb a**..

1,015 · August 7, 2013

A month ago Junior, Earl, and Bubba were in a fishing boat big enough for one person. We were out wakeboarding and as we went by once noticed they were waving their fist at us. Noted it. Next run they were yelling at us. So I motor over to them and they inform me that there's no skiing/board on this lake and that they have the rule book. I proceeded to tell him I've lived on the lake going on 23 years and if it's a restricted lake there would be a sign at the launch indicating that. I asked to see the rule book. That shut them up. I still didn't have the canopy on my lift, ripped off from a storm, so I was going to take the boat out. They were just ahead of me and sure enough they looked at the sign at the launch and all it has was information ... like no dumping trash, zebra mussel info, a eye condition bass have, don't let sea weed hitch a ride to another lake. I was right behind them ... of course with no shirt on ... but I hardly ever wear a shirt. Pinched myself so I didn't laugh.

1,087 · August 7, 2013

A month ago Junior, Earl, and Bubba were in a fishing boat big enough for one person. We were out wakeboarding and as we went by once noticed they were waving their fist at us. Noted it. Next run they were yelling at us. So I motor over to them and they inform me that there's no skiing/board on this lake and that they have the rule book. I proceeded to tell him I've lived on the lake going on 23 years and if it's a restricted lake there would be a sign at the launch indicating that. I asked to see the rule book. That shut them up. I still didn't have the canopy on my lift, ripped off from a storm, so I was going to take the boat out. They were just ahead of me and sure enough they looked at the sign at the launch and all it has was information ... like no dumping trash, zebra mussel info, a eye condition bass have, don't let sea weed hitch a ride to another lake. I was right behind them ... of course with no shirt on ... but I hardly ever wear a shirt. Pinched myself so I didn't laugh.

Whenever fisherman complain I just ask them nicely if my skiing in the ski zone is messing up their fishing in the ski zone?

13,102 · August 7, 2013

I once heard of "some guy" affixing his anchor line to the bow and throwing his box anchor overboard, only to notice the box anchor wasn't hooked to the other end of the line. What a bonehead!

1,015 · August 7, 2013

Racer,

I was trying to remain calm ... they were dropping the f-bomb left and right and had a 2 and 5 year old in the boat. But I didn't back down.

August 7, 2013

I have seen plenty at the ramp.....but the most pi$$ed I have ever been was on the water.

My brother had just finished his run and we were sitting there pumping out our multitude of sacs we used to run in my '03 Supra DD. We were sitting at the top of the cove over to the side so others could get in and out and make their turns with plenty of room. We were sitting about 20 feet off of a grassy point at the mouth of the cove when some idiot in his little Sea Doo jet ski boat comes toward us pulling his wife on a kneeboard. My brother and our wives all start asking each other where is this guy going. The idiot proceeds to run 20 mph between us and the shore and makes his turn around us instead of going past us and making his turn. Did I mention we were only 20 feet from the shore? His boat was probably 10 feet from mine and I could have spit on his wife she was so close. My brother and I immediately start yelling at the guy, he yells back and said I'll come back. We yell to him please do. We were fighting mad at this point. Funny enough his wife eats it about 100 yards from our boat, and we bust out lauging. We throw the pump and everything in the boat an idle over to him. Luckily we both settled down, have to say his wife nosedive helped. By the time we got to him we could hear his wife yelling at him. We pulled up and kindly stated the North Carolina law on distance from another vessel with no wake. We kindly told him it wasn't about him messing the boats up, that it was about safety. Dude acts like he is going to come back with some smart comment and his wife just looks at him. He says sorry guys, I didn't know that, my bad. The guy lives in the cove we were on and in the 2 summers since I haven't seen his "boat" off the lift. Thankfully.

August 7, 2013

I have seen plenty at the ramp.....but the most pi$$ed I have ever been was on the water.
My brother had just finished his run and we were sitting there pumping out our multitude of sacs we used to run in my '03 Supra DD. We were sitting at the top of the cove over to the side so others could get in and out and make their turns with plenty of room. We were sitting about 20 feet off of a grassy point at the mouth of the cove when some idiot in his little Sea Doo jet ski boat comes toward us pulling his wife on a kneeboard. My brother and our wives all start asking each other where is this guy going. The idiot proceeds to run 20 mph between us and the shore and makes his turn around us instead of going past us and making his turn. Did I mention we were only 20 feet from the shore? His boat was probably 10 feet from mine and I could have spit on his wife she was so close. My brother and I immediately start yelling at the guy, he yells back and said I'll come back. We yell to him please do. We were fighting mad at this point. Funny enough his wife eats it about 100 yards from our boat, and we bust out lauging. We throw the pump and everything in the boat an idle over to him. Luckily we both settled down, have to say his wife nosedive helped. By the time we got to him we could hear his wife yelling at him. We pulled up and kindly stated the North Carolina law on distance from another vessel with no wake. We kindly told him it wasn't about him messing the boats up, that it was about safety. Dude acts like he is going to come back with some smart comment and his wife just looks at him. He says sorry guys, I didn't know that, my bad. The guy lives in the cove we were on and in the 2 summers since I haven't seen his "boat" off the lift. Thankfully.

A good mans gots to know his limititations!!

3 Boats · August 7, 2013

I once heard of "some guy" affixing his anchor line to the bow and throwing his box anchor overboard, only to notice the box anchor wasn't hooked to the other end of the line. What a bonehead!

Was he the bonehead that posted this message?

August 7, 2013

The DUMBEST thing? Oooh, that's a tall order. Ill stick to these two: (And keep in mind I see at least one of these every single time I'm on the water)
1. Boaters who aren't able to read navigational markers. Even simple ones. It's insane. Would you really drive a car if you had no idea what a red light meant!? So how do you rationalize driving a boat when you don't know what a red buoy means?! And the guys who are clearly using the buoys in reverse ?? Holy moly man. I feel sorry for the guests/family on their boats who have no idea their driver is the boating equivilant of a six year old behind the wheel of a car.
2. The folks at the ramp who think the boat determines the order of retrieval. Really guys? Think about it for a second.... How would that work exactly? That's like saying the order of checkout at the grocery store is determined by who got to the store first. DUMB.

That is cause there are no yellow and white lines for folks to follow. NO speed bumps, no stop signs...for the uneducated, it is like the wild wild west. Folks figure they can go wherever they want to. Maybe if there was a ticket dispenser at the ramp like at some DMVs...Folks could get their their number, and there would be a sign with the next number, ya know to let folks waiting who is next!!

Edited August 7, 2013 by happypappy

13,102 · August 7, 2013

That's freaking funny (after the fact, of course)
I can only imagine the look on 'that guy's' face when he realized what happened.

As the tale goes, his crew reminds him of that fateful day everytime he anchors the boat....

3,176 · August 7, 2013

The DUMBEST thing? Oooh, that's a tall order. Ill stick to these two: (And keep in mind I see at least one of these every single time I'm on the water)
1. Boaters who aren't able to read navigational markers. Even simple ones. It's insane. Would you really drive a car if you had no idea what a red light meant!? So how do you rationalize driving a boat when you don't know what a red buoy means?! And the guys who are clearly using the buoys in reverse ?? Holy moly man. I feel sorry for the guests/family on their boats who have no idea their driver is the boating equivilant of a six year old behind the wheel of a car.

When you boat inland, on inland lakes, knowing about CG nav markers isn't high on the list of things you study (or I study anyway).

One year we're in TriCities, 350 miles inland, right near where the Snake River dumps in to the Columbia. Curley is SkySkiing, I'm driving. We come around the bend & I see a red nav marker,

I quickly say to Kevin, "Hey, red right returning. does that mean we stay to the right, or keep the nav marker on the right".

He says, "Huh"?

So I say, "and is that returning TO the sea or FROM the sea"?.

He says "WTH are you talking about"?

And just as I say, "and WHICH DIRECTION is the sea"?!..... Curley goes DOWN hard!

So I turn around & pick him up. As we approach, he's kind of squirming around a bit.... and then.... he STANDS UP. He's in knee deep water. And none too happy about hitting bottom. The belt jammed his belly up a bit. He was OK but spent a good part of the night nursing a bottle of JD.

So anyway, when you see the red nav marker, look for the green one on the left.

August 7, 2013

Dumbest thing happened to me few weeks ago.. pulling kids on tube they fall off so i got close to them on boat so they can climb back on.. some random jet skier figured it would be fun to get within 10-15 ft of the boat and kids in the water getting back on tube trying to splash us. He was close enough to where if i had a corona bottle i could have pegged him in his head. But of course me and my cousin came off with a "WTF ARE YOU DOING WE HAVE KIDS IN THE WATER" (were over protective when we have kids or people in general in the water) at that time he said something stupid and did another turn at us.. it was one of those "wish that sheriff was around" type moments.

Has anyone had a situation like this? if so what did you do?

1,123 · August 7, 2013

Dumbest thing happened to me few weeks ago.. pulling kids on tube they fall off so i got close to them on boat so they can climb back on.. some random jet skier figured it would be fun to get within 10-15 ft of the boat and kids in the water getting back on tube trying to splash us. He was close enough to where if i had a corona bottle i could have pegged him in his head. But of course me and my cousin came off with a "WTF ARE YOU DOING WE HAVE KIDS IN THE WATER" (were over protective when we have kids or people in general in the water) at that time he said something stupid and did another turn at us.. it was one of those "wish that sheriff was around" type moments.
Has anyone had a situation like this? if so what did you do?

i'm a firm believer that all boats should be equipped w a box o rocks.

if i can hit you w a rock you are just too close.

August 7, 2013

I once heard of "some guy" affixing his anchor line to the bow and throwing his box anchor overboard, only to notice the box anchor wasn't hooked to the other end of the line. What a bonehead!

Did you happen to hear if this "some guy" was able to dive and retrieve his box anchor,... Or whether it remains sunken treasure?

1 Boat · August 7, 2013

Dumbest thing happened to me few weeks ago.. pulling kids on tube they fall off so i got close to them on boat so they can climb back on.. some random jet skier figured it would be fun to get within 10-15 ft of the boat and kids in the water getting back on tube trying to splash us. He was close enough to where if i had a corona bottle i could have pegged him in his head. But of course me and my cousin came off with a "WTF ARE YOU DOING WE HAVE KIDS IN THE WATER" (were over protective when we have kids or people in general in the water) at that time he said something stupid and did another turn at us.. it was one of those "wish that sheriff was around" type moments.
Has anyone had a situation like this? if so what did you do?

Probably the same one that sunk your boat.

13,102 · August 7, 2013

Did you happen to hear if this "some guy" was able to dive and retrieve his box anchor,... Or whether it remains sunken treasure?

That is actually the funnier part of the story. So this was at shasta in salt creek off of the sacramento arm. There's a railroad bridge that goes over the inlet, and that year the water was high and there was a super janky "safety third" rope swing off of one of the bridge piers.

After the captain lost the anchor, he drove to redding that night and went to harbor freight and got one of their super magnets. Went back the next day and the kids got to rope swing to their hearts' content while he trolled with the magnet and rope (luckily there was a spare anchor aboard). He pulled up a lot of random bits of scrap metal owing to it being right under a train bridge. Then .... wait.... there was something heavy on the line. Real heavy and he had to pull slow lest it slip off the magnet. The first mate noticed the captain's eager anticipation as he hauled up the prize. Slowly. Slowly. As the rope got closer to the surface, he got a glimpse of the booty... wha? Why was it red... Oh man! Just "found" the spare anchor!

The lost box anchor was never retrieved (though one would think it has been found, being that it was lost right next to a campground on a busy inlet).

3,176 · August 7, 2013

Dumbest thing happened to me few weeks ago.. pulling kids on tube they fall off so i got close to them on boat so they can climb back on.. some random jet skier figured it would be fun to get within 10-15 ft of the boat and kids in the water getting back on tube trying to splash us. He was close enough to where if i had a corona bottle i could have pegged him in his head. But of course me and my cousin came off with a "WTF ARE YOU DOING WE HAVE KIDS IN THE WATER" (were over protective when we have kids or people in general in the water) at that time he said something stupid and did another turn at us.. it was one of those "wish that sheriff was around" type moments.
Has anyone had a situation like this? if so what did you do?

Stopped tubing altogether. Works GREAT!

August 7, 2013

Probably the same one that sunk your boat.[/
i'm a firm believer that all boats should be equipped w a box o rocks.
if i can hit you w a rock you are just too close.
I'm thinking of an option on all 2014 Malibu boats...fully auto Paintball guns. If the idiot Lake Zombies get close enough, you can open fire. Bonus, is that you mark them up with paint for later Identification by the authorities.

1,539 · August 8, 2013

Telling on myself.

Putting boat in lake alone. Normally I trailer and son loads and unloads boat. This morning I am alone, only good thing about that was no one there to see what I was about to do! Back down ramp, set parking brake and move gear selector up 1 position to park. I get out of truck to climb in boat and pull it off trailer. Start boat and put in reverse to slide back off trailer, look forward and notice reverse lights on truck are on. Oh ****** truck is also running and in reverse with parking brake on. Glad I keep my parking brake adjusted correctly. Push boat back up 2 feet that I had backed off and Quickly but gingerly jumped out and back to truck to put in park and turn off. Still glad no one was at ramp to see this bonehead.

What went wrong? When I backed down ramp, I apparently put truck in neutral and rolled down ramp instead of reverse as usual. I always set parking brake before hitting park to keep loads off park pin. After getting trailer proper depth, I set park brake and slid gear selector up 1 position to what I thought was park. Remember park is only 1 spot up from reverse but I was mistakenly in neatral and not reverse therefore I now put and left it in reverse.

Be assured this will not happen to me again. I have been boating for 20 years and loaded and unloaded hundreds of times. Just shows how even experienced can be boneheads.

Edited October 30, 2013 by dalt1

3,265 · August 8, 2013

I know some guy that almost got his anchor clipped to the bow before he let go. Almost. Had to hire a professional swimmer to retrieve it.

Edited August 8, 2013 by Ruffdog

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