Excuses

[UWSkier]

This should be a fun thread... Let's hear your best, most lame-brained excuses (ones you've actually used or ones you made up for this thread... doesn't matter) for a crappy performance out on the water. I always liked this one.

Yeah, it was going great until I caught the wake from that duck swimming by on ball 4 and broke at the waist...

[CRMNGRN]

"I said stop right here, not light beer".

[D-GOOSE]

The waters to smooth, it's throwing me off.

[SacRiverRat]

I can't ride to VanHalen...

[Franickle]

The two favorites I use

1. My narcolepsy is acting up again.

2. You didn't see that huge carp jump in front of me?

[CRMNGRN]

Hey look, I'm just sittin back here holding the end of a rope, your the genious driving the boat, and yes I have done this before.

[aneal000]

My fin(s) were loose

My bindings were loose

My (insert body part) hurts/got hurt

The (insert piece of equipment) just feels wierd today

The wake was wierd/off/curling/washed out/small/big/steep/rampy/soft/hard

Are you sure the PP was set at 23.7?

Are you sure the rope is all the way out?

Are you sure you have the ballast tanks full?

Hey move one person over to the left by 3 inches... that should help next time!

I got a bug in my eye as I was cutting in.

Someone must of been putting on suntan lotion on right before riding cause now the handle is all slippery and I couldn't hang on.

Just a few I've heard... (or maybe used)

[Tom Sawyer]

I haven't had enough beer!!

[JohnDoe]

the water just feels faster today for some reason

the barometric pressure is affecting my speed through the wakes

The lake is too shallow today

I'm not feelin it

that hot chick in the fishing boat flashed me

[Baddog]

My bio-rhytims are crossing.

The phase of the moon is all wrong.

It's the gloves.

Wrong life jacket.

[JohnDoe]

the lake is dirty today

of course....

my slalom course is too wide!!! pull it in narrower!

[gooddog]

I'm out of practice.

[John I.]

- the sun is in my eyes

- the wind is at my back

- the current is real strong (make sure you're on the river)

- the ibuprofen hasn't kicked in yet

[jmadden]

I had to drop and adjust my cup

[Henken]

I bruised my outboard nostril.

[mlange]

JohnDoe beat me to it.

Can't believe it took that many posts into the thread for the narrow/wide course excuse.

[UWSkier]

I usually ski with my other foot forward.

I had to use the bathroom and was afraid to pull too hard.

I must've dropped my ski on its fin.

The spotter wasn't paying attention.

The wake from that tuber out here 45 minutes ago is still bouncing around the lake.

The rope was too stretchy.

The best excuse I ever made for someone else... and was actually true: "Her boobs are too big to get up on a slalom ski."

[JohnDoe]

I've legitimately used this one, although I'm not good enough to use it validly:

the turn balls are too big and are floating too high

[LS-One]

didn't get any last night.

[JohnDoe]

didn't get any last night. 

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only if I can't get up

[Brad B]

I tripped over a rock, the suns in my eyes and this glove is too big.

[Headhunter 2317]

I was looking for my lost anchor. The hard way.

[stewart]

I can't ride to VanHalen...

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That's not an excuse.......... you really can't ride to VanHalen.

[stewart]

Here's mine: I should have brought my "rough water" board.

[stewart]

Here's one I saw in another thread.......

For a variety of reasons, I've only had the opportunity to use mine 3 (maybe 4) times, and all behind a friend's 23' Chaparral. I haven't even mastered the d@mn taxi position yet!   At this point, I'm blaming it mostly on the boat's lack of speed control...but, then how would I know? 

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