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How to convince your divorce attorney wife that.........you need....


Slayer

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Throw yourself on the mercy of the court (your wife) and beg, plead, and promise. You should be on your knees, praying motion with hands, complete with tears. Good luck!

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The owner of my future boat was in my shop again today. 2007 RLXi Silver Anniversary Hammerhead. I'll be visiting him at the lake this summer with my boat and can crack open the door to my wife about possible future purchase. Strange thing is we visit his lake every year and swim at the beach right around the corner from his place but have never seen his boat. We just don't go to that end of the lake because we come from the channel in the other direction.

Two issues: 1) boat is not for sale. But that's okay because 2) I don't have the money for it.

In my case it'll probably never happen. But there's always a chance if she really likes it that someday........maybe that'll happen if you look at a TXi at the dealer. Get her thinking about it at least.

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ahopkins22LSV
The owner of my future boat was in my shop again today. 2007 RLXi Silver Anniversary Hammerhead. I'll be visiting him at the lake this summer with my boat and can crack open the door to my wife about possible future purchase. Strange thing is we visit his lake every year and swim at the beach right around the corner from his place but have never seen his boat. We just don't go to that end of the lake because we come from the channel in the other direction.

Two issues: 1) boat is not for sale. But that's okay because 2) I don't have the money for it.

In my case it'll probably never happen. But there's always a chance if she really likes it that someday........maybe that'll happen if you look at a TXi at the dealer. Get her thinking about it at least.

I agree. Get her to at least touch and feel a TXi. Even if you are looking at a gen one lxi. A well kept lxi is going to look and feel just like a new or one year old TXi. There is something about that new fiberglass smell that gets things moving. Or maybe you just get high and make bad decisions, that are really good decisions, but your evil conscious kicks your good one off your shoulder. :dontknow:

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The owner of my future boat was in my shop again today. 2007 RLXi Silver Anniversary Hammerhead. I'll be visiting him at the lake this summer with my boat and can crack open the door to my wife about possible future purchase. Strange thing is we visit his lake every year and swim at the beach right around the corner from his place but have never seen his boat. We just don't go to that end of the lake because we come from the channel in the other direction.

Two issues: 1) boat is not for sale. But that's okay because 2) I don't have the money for it.

In my case it'll probably never happen. But there's always a chance if she really likes it that someday........maybe that'll happen if you look at a TXi at the dealer. Get her thinking about it at least.

She has seen a TXI. She's got little interest in it, though. I think it would be different if she was in one on the water. The thing that really ticks me off about this is that we have the money and spending it won't hurt us. We're not super well off or anything, but we've been saving quite a bit lately, business was really good for both of us this year, and dang it....we (I) deserve it! :biggrin:

I agree. Get her to at least touch and feel a TXi. Even if you are looking at a gen one lxi. A well kept lxi is going to look and feel just like a new or one year old TXi. There is something about that new fiberglass smell that gets things moving. Or maybe you just get high and make bad decisions, that are really good decisions, but your evil conscious kicks your good one off your shoulder. :dontknow:

I really agree with you. While I'm sure the wake improvement from LXI to TXI is notable, any upgrade from the SSLX is HUGE for me.

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She has seen a TXI. She's got little interest in it, though. I think it would be different if she was in one on the water. The thing that really ticks me off about this is that we have the money and spending it won't hurt us. We're not super well off or anything, but we've been saving quite a bit lately, business was really good for both of us this year, and dang it....we (I) deserve it! :biggrin:

I've seen 5 year old girls with a bigger sack. I'm just going to be honest, you sound pathetic. She is your wife; you aren't 9 years old asking your mom for permission to buy something. My wife also makes a lot more than I do, she is very frugal as well and I have never had to consider thinking/acting like this. If I want something she isn't interested in going in on I simply save up and buy it myself. Don't have that financial arrangement? Maybe it is time to fix that issue.

The $1100+ I just spent on rims for the trailer, do you think I asked permission? Heck no, I bought them and showed them too her when they arrived (she likes them). Never got an ounce of crap for it. I didn't go asking mommy if I could buy wheels for the trailer.

Sort of sorry for the tough love but this I keep reading these posts and just shake my head.

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Do some analysis. WHY is she so against the purchase? There is an underlying reason that has not surfaced yet. Did you piss her off about something totally unrelated and she is getting revenge by saying "no" to this purchase?

Alternatively, what is in it for her? How can you prove undeniably how she would personally benefit from the new boat?

Finally, if non of the above works, take off your skirt and bra and put on some Sperrys man.

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so this was started back in august and chris mentioned it had less than 100 hours. is this even really still available?

sunsetter lxi's don't sit long.

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I've seen 5 year old girls with a bigger sack. I'm just going to be honest, you sound pathetic. She is your wife; you aren't 9 years old asking your mom for permission to buy something. My wife also makes a lot more than I do, she is very frugal as well and I have never had to consider thinking/acting like this. If I want something she isn't interested in going in on I simply save up and buy it myself. Don't have that financial arrangement? Maybe it is time to fix that issue.

The $1100+ I just spent on rims for the trailer, do you think I asked permission? Heck no, I bought them and showed them too her when they arrived (she likes them). Never got an ounce of crap for it. I didn't go asking mommy if I could buy wheels for the trailer.

Sort of sorry for the tough love but this I keep reading these posts and just shake my head.

I'm guessing that he actually knows what to do, this thread is mostly just some goofing around with the typical spousal relationships.

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ahopkins22LSV

I've seen 5 year old girls with a bigger sack. I'm just going to be honest, you sound pathetic. She is your wife; you aren't 9 years old asking your mom for permission to buy something. My wife also makes a lot more than I do, she is very frugal as well and I have never had to consider thinking/acting like this. If I want something she isn't interested in going in on I simply save up and buy it myself. Don't have that financial arrangement? Maybe it is time to fix that issue.

The $1100+ I just spent on rims for the trailer, do you think I asked permission? Heck no, I bought them and showed them too her when they arrived (she likes them). Never got an ounce of crap for it. I didn't go asking mommy if I could buy wheels for the trailer.

Sort of sorry for the tough love but this I keep reading these posts and just shake my head.

I'm guessing that he actually knows what to do, this thread is mostly just some goofing around with the typical spousal relationships.

Yeah man I don't think he is afraid of his wife, I think he respects her. Every relationship and marriage is different. I know for a FACT if I just went out and dropped a huge load of cash (even the few grand you talk about for your rims) it would be a terrible situation in my house. And if I just went and bought that TXi we just finalized without her included and in agreement I would not be married. That just isn't showing respect. If it works for you, great. But with him discussing it with his wife and her not agreeing then him not just going to do it doesn't make him any less of a man... Sorry for the relationship rant, just felt like those comments were uncalled for.

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Yeah man I don't think he is afraid of his wife, I think he respects her. Every relationship and marriage is different. I know for a FACT if I just went out and dropped a huge load of cash (even the few grand you talk about for your rims) it would be a terrible situation in my house. And if I just went and bought that TXi we just finalized without her included and in agreement I would not be married. That just isn't showing respect. If it works for you, great. But with him discussing it with his wife and her not agreeing then him not just going to do it doesn't make him any less of a man... Sorry for the relationship rant, just felt like those comments were uncalled for.

There is a big difference between discussing getting a new boat versus having to beg, plead and hope "mommy" says it is okay. If you make your own money and can afford it without taking away from the family's money (bills, savings, etc.), then one shouldn't have to ask.

An adult would simply state that I think it is time for a new boat. Here is my budget and plan to purchase X boat and how it is not going to impact the family finances. Done.

I would love to upgrade to a newer truck. I can at any time, I choose not to because I don't "need" to (reliable, runs well, costs nearly nothing to own/maintain = hard to justify). Sure, I'd discuss it with my wife but no permission would ever be needed to upgrade it (or expected).

I discussed adding my Exile tower speakers. She thought it was a good idea; I decided to add two pair instead of one...again, she saw them when I got them. I'm an adult; again there is a difference between discussing a purchase versus asking permission. I put a lot of hours in at work, I pay my share of the bills, I contribute to the family and shouldn't have to be treated like a child when I want to get something for myself. I didn't before I was married and sure as heck won't when I am married.

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So, if she wants a new(er) pontoon then this discussion is simple. "ok, no problem, But I am getting the boat of my dreams." and if finances say that you have to buy her a new(er) pontoon first, than suck it up and do it. because in the long run when you find that dream Malibu, she can only say YES

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Interestingly enough, I don't understand this financial philosophy at all... the separate accounts, the my money, your money thing, etc. All of the couples that we know who used this method of financial management have split up. Maybe because it puts the desires of the individual in competition with the needs of the family? Maybe it has nothing to do with finances... though the correlation in my own anecdotal experience seems to be there.

I value my spouse's consensus on major expenditures and I think she values mine too. We're a team and we make our financial decisions that way.

As the pundit once said, happy wife, happy life.

Couldn't have said it better.

My wife earns significantly more than I do as well (Doctor vs engineer - I loose) but its not her money, its not my money, its our money. Major financial decisions are discussed, minor ones aren't, the line between the two is not strictly defined and we find a way to agree. In ten years of being together there has not been a single agruement about money......helps to have a little but the main reason is a shared philosophy on how we want to save, invest and spend our resources.

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Actually, the separate accounts makes perfect sense. Wife and I have been together over 5 years with no signs of ever splitting up.

We split who pays what bills. For the mortgage, I toss some money her way. We each decide what needs contributed towards the kiddo. The rest is our own money. On vacation, we split what goes into that as well.

It is very easy to do. No one ever feels like you are spending the money they earn. You never get whined at for buying something. I see so many coworkers that deal with that stress on a daily basis that I'd never want to deal with it.

Go ask your coworkers if they have a secret bank account. You'll be surprised how many do (I'd say half of my coworkers have a secret account). There is a reason for that.

This only works if you have two working and RESPONSIBLE adults married to each other. Those that know the bills and kid need cared for first before spending on yourself. If either person can't figure that out then it won't work.

Just because your finances are separate doesn't mean you can't discuss major purchases. Again, I'm not buying a truck before talking to my wife about it, even if I'm paying for all of it. Obviously any purchase we both go in on we discuss (our heat pump purchase last year comes to mind, as we both went in on it).

I can't even imagine hearing about how I went to lunch x amount of days, why did I need a new wedge for the boat. Just like she would hate to hear me complain about her buying ANOTHER pair of shoes.

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Im with you Nitrousbird. My wife and I do the same thing. We each work and have separate accounts and split bills. I wanted a new wakesetter last year and it wasn't even a question. I bought the last one, I bought this one. If she wants something I don't say a word as long as the bills are paid and the savings is growing!

I have a simple saying for her when she wants to buy something extravagant. I heard it on a JG Wentworth commercial. 'its your money, use how you want to!' lol she hates it!

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I guess I am the flip of that Nitrous, there is no me, mine, you, yours when it comes to our finances, and just because our money is pooled, does not mean that I have to ask mommy's permission to buy things. We are in it together, I know what we can afford and what we can't and if I want something within means, I get no crap about it. The same goes for her. I think it is what ever works best for you and your family, there is no right or wrong way to do it. Just whatever works best for you.

If I make a good bit more than my wife, using your strategy, should I be able to buy a new trailer for my boat with the money I earn, while she would never be able to afford something that expensive with the money that she earns? Just doesn't make sense for my house. Our money is pooled, we find our balance and have been happily married for 15 years.

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I am in the group that shares everything. It is a mutual respect. I do not have a "secret " account but I do squirrel some money away to buy things for my wife without her knowing when and where I bought it. We never have fought about money and have been together for 23 years, married for 18. However, each relationship is different. What works for you may not work very well for other people.

Back to the topic at hand. I would think that if you sit down with her and you BOTH compromise on what is important, the end result will be a new boat! :biggrin:

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ahopkins22LSV

I am in the group that shares everything. It is a mutual respect. I do not have a "secret " account but I do squirrel some money away to buy things for my wife without her knowing when and where I bought it. We never have fought about money and have been together for 23 years, married for 18. However, each relationship is different. What works for you may not work very well for other people.

Back to the topic at hand. I would think that if you sit down with her and you BOTH compromise on what is important, the end result will be a new boat! :biggrin:

I agree, and maybe it is a newer pontoon first. Maybe you can swing both this spring :)

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Actually, the separate accounts makes perfect sense. Wife and I have been together over 5 years with no signs of ever splitting up.

We split who pays what bills. For the mortgage, I toss some money her way. We each decide what needs contributed towards the kiddo. The rest is our own money. On vacation, we split what goes into that as well.

It is very easy to do. No one ever feels like you are spending the money they earn. You never get whined at for buying something. I see so many coworkers that deal with that stress on a daily basis that I'd never want to deal with it.

Go ask your coworkers if they have a secret bank account. You'll be surprised how many do (I'd say half of my coworkers have a secret account). There is a reason for that.

This only works if you have two working and RESPONSIBLE adults married to each other. Those that know the bills and kid need cared for first before spending on yourself. If either person can't figure that out then it won't work.

Just because your finances are separate doesn't mean you can't discuss major purchases. Again, I'm not buying a truck before talking to my wife about it, even if I'm paying for all of it. Obviously any purchase we both go in on we discuss (our heat pump purchase last year comes to mind, as we both went in on it).

I can't even imagine hearing about how I went to lunch x amount of days, why did I need a new wedge for the boat. Just like she would hate to hear me complain about her buying ANOTHER pair of shoes.

Hey I hear you. We've been together since high school, married after college. We have had our finances pooled since we were VERY poor grad students and had almost nothing. We've learned how to earn and spend together, so it's the only system I know. I think it could be different if we'd met later and gotten married after beginning our own careers. I definitely see keeping finances separate as a concern that grows the later in life a relationship begins.

What do you my money/your money guys do if your spouse gets sick / laid off / pregnant? Do they have to give you a promissory note or something to cover their half of the nut?

And we each have our own predetermined "cookie jars" in the family budget where we contribute money and each of us can spend that at our discretion. We definitely don't consult one another over a pair of shoes or a new bicycle chain. But buying a boat? Yeah, that's a family decision under our roof.

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