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Frustrating day on the lake today with my 3rd


wakeboarder3780

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So we're out on the boat today. Get done with my set and the boat is off we're emptying ballast. My wife (driver at the time) says the HUD is displaying a low battery warning. I tell her to start the boat now so the battery can't drain more while we empty ballast. So she drops me off at the launch and swings back out. I put the trailer in and get a call on my cell phone from my 3rd. Here's how it goes:

Me: Hello?

Buddy: The boat won't start

Me: (I watch as the gentle breeze steadily takes the boat downstream) Why'd you guys shut it off??

Buddy: The low depth buzzer was going all wonky again.

Me: *siiiigh* The HUD said the battery was low, that was really dumb to shut it off.

Buddy: Well we could hook up the terminals to the other battery.

Me: (Watch the boat float further down stream) That won't work you guys need to grab the wakeboard and start paddling in. (I have a VSR in my boat so if the primary battery is toast the second one is even lower)

Buddy: Well I have all your ratchets in the boat I could rewire it and ....

Me: (now furious that he's not listening to me and that the boat is now further downstream, and start swearing and cussing) <cut him off> I said it's not going to work, just get the <expletive> board and start <expletive> paddling in before you aren't able to paddle back.

Well anyways after he finally relented and started paddling in about 4 minutes later a fishing boat showed up and gave them a tow in. Then he got lippy with me when he got in (icing on the cake). Now to be fair he is willing to come out and spot me even if he doesn't ride and he is the one buddy that will help occasionally fix the boat - so he definitely has some good qualities. But honestly does anyone else out there have a guy like this? He's done this before too (in non critical situations) where he'll just argue and argue about how to fix a particular thing even though he clearly doesn't fully grasp what he's doing. I guess it's just really frustrating because I'm the one who spent all his damn money on an epic pro-grade wakeboarding boat and I've got buddies who are out on the boat ARGUING with me about how we should do something. I guess I could never fathom going out on someone else's boat and start telling them how to do things. Make a suggestions - maybe. Tell someone how to do it - no way. ARGUE with someone while their boat drifts downstream - no way in hell.

This is also the same guy that when we were bickering back and forth one day he got pissed at me and literally SLAMMED the boat into reverse super hard. I wanted to knock his f'ing teeth out.

Does anyone else have anyone even remotely like this? Does anyone know someone even worse? I just really get pissed that he doesn't seem to respect that it's my boat and we're going to do things *my* way whether he likes it or not.

Edit: By the way we got the boat in and onto the trailer and guess the REAL reason it wouldn't start? No really guess I'll give credit to the first person that gets it right.

Edited by wakeboarder3780
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Edit: By the way we got the boat in and onto the trailer and guess the REAL reason it wouldn't start? No really guess I'll give credit to the first person that gets it right.

Your buddy knocked the lanyard off getting into the driver's seat? :crazy:

:lol:

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Edit: By the way we got the boat in and onto the trailer and guess the REAL reason it wouldn't start? No really guess I'll give credit to the first person that gets it right.

Shifter wasn't in neutral? :Doh:

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"This is also the same guy that when we were bickering back and forth one day he got pissed at me and literally SLAMMED the boat into reverse super hard."

He'd be history in my world.

======

Man, the 1st 2 guesses have been taken.

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I did have similar situation a couple of years ago, we had a family owned boat, (I did all the cleaning and repairs), everyone else just used the @#$ out of it. Left it sitting in the water all week in stead of putting on the electric lift (this one blew my mind) :crazy: . Keep in mind this is a lake that after a day in the water, you will get growth on the bottom of the boat. But they are family you cannot forget them. Now that I have a BU it's mine, my rules, and it comes of this lake after a week spotless (ok, I have to clean it every couple of days, but its mine).

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Forget him. Start looking for people on the crew to go with. I know it's basically taking a stranger out on the boat but it has worked very well for me. Actually got a several lasting friendships out of the deal.

Edited by Ruffdog
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Your best hope is to lighten up.

It is hard to find a good third.

Assuming this gentleman has other reddeeming virtues you have to do your best to hold your temper.

My two ski buddies sometimes get cranky with one another.

We mainly use their two boats a 2003 PS 197 and a 1991 Sunsetter.

The guy with the PS 197 is picky. He and I detail his boat after every use.

The guy with the Sunsetter is the reverse. No maintenance, except for what I do.

The Sunsetter owner claims to be no mechanic and relies on me to bring my big jumper cables and my tool box for repairs.

I have no problem with that. I help out every time he asks. Both of these guys are better athletes than me and we have a good time on the water.

I repeat " It is hard to find a good third."

Do whatever you need to do to improve your battery situation. Add another set of cables to the solenoid. Upgrade your batteries.

This is much easier to do than find a replacement.

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What did your wife have to say about the situation when it was just the two of you?

She didn't hear the conversation we were having on the phone. At first she assumed I was being a d*** because I can be a hothead. When I told her how the conversation went down and how he wouldn't drop it and kept pressing she sided with me and said he should have dropped it and got moving. I'm no angel, I didn't handle it great either because I was cussing at him and being short. But in my opinion you do NOT argue with a boat owner about what to do with THEIR boat in a crisis. But of course I posted this up to hear your opinions, so it doesn't really matter what I think. I know I tend to get too far into my own little world sometimes, which is why I'm asking what you guys / gals think of it.

Edited by wakeboarder3780
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Your best hope is to lighten up.

It is hard to find a good third.

I totally agree! But would you allow your third to abuse your boat just because he's mad at *you* at the time? Would you allow your third to bicker and argue with you while your boat is drifting away? I'm not saying he needs to be perfect - he can disagree and b**** at me all he wants. But when it comes down to the health of your BOAT, would you be willing to let your third do that to your boat? That's really what I'm getting at.

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Rule #1

The captain is always right.

Rule #2

If the captain is wrong, see rule #1

Except in this case, the "captain" was not in the boat, so then isn't "the third" really the one in charge, and trying to do his best in the situation? Just seeing another side.

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He probably has adult ADHD.There is a guy in our group of lake friends that is just like that,but his posative features outway his negative. Give him a break and accept him the way he is. Do you think he would walk into a burning building to help you or you family? Our friend would :clap:

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He probably has adult ADHD.There is a guy in our group of lake friends that is just like that,but his posative features outway his negative. Give him a break and accept him the way he is. Do you think he would walk into a burning building to help you or you family? Our friend would :clap:

My best skiing buddy does have adult ADHD. And, he is a really smart computer engineer. (competes and builds the "vision" system in a "darpa grand challenge" car) He can really get on my nerves by arguing about something stupid, just like the OP says. He also talks about dreaming up the most complicated solutions to an easy problem. :Frustrated:

But, like foiler says, he would run into a burning building to help me. He also is always available to go foilin'. Even if he has to call in sick to work and drop the two kids at the mom-in-laws on the way to the lake. So, bottom line, I keep him around.

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I don't roll with folks that are "difficult". I am not going to grit my teeth for hours out with some one who acts like an a** just to get some board time in.

There are too many good folks out there to have that fed up or frustrated feeling when you are on the water. I bought the boat for good times.... I'm gonna do that even if it's at the expense of a little less board time cuz the only avail good driver acts like an a** or isn't reapectfull. I'll do without bs bringing drama onboard.

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This is also the same guy that when we were bickering back and forth one day he got pissed at me and literally SLAMMED the boat into reverse super hard. I wanted to knock his f'ing teeth out.

Strike 1,2 & 3. I'd make my Grandma swim back to shore for that. Where are you located, maybe the crew can help you find a decent third, sounds like the only reason you hang out with him is to get board time....?

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Strike 1,2 & 3. I'd make my Grandma swim back to shore for that. Where are you located, maybe the crew can help you find a decent third, sounds like the only reason you hang out with him is to get board time....?

This is mentioned often but I don't think we have crew members around here. The only guy I know of is jt13 but he's had a lot of stuff going on. I'd be more than happy to have him out on the boat, but I think he's just had a lot going on. In fact IMO I *owe* jt13 - he helped me out with some gas struts for my lockers and I haven't even been able to give him a couple free pulls to "pay" for it yet!

If anyone else is around my area - definitely give me a shout. I'd be MORE than happy to find some dedicated riders. I'm as dedicated as it gets, I rode this last Saturday in 42 degree water for crying out loud. My perceptions has always been that they just don't exist "round these parts".

As for if he'd go into a burning building for me, I'm not sure on that one ;) Overall he's a good guy, we bicker once in a while, it's just that he's gotta drop the "listen to me" bs and refer to rules #1 and #2. Also I don't care if I'm not on the boat. If I'm around and he can hear me - I'm in charge, not him. My boat, my rules, no exceptions.

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it's just that he's gotta drop the "listen to me" bs and refer to rules #1 and #2. Also I don't care if I'm not on the boat. If I'm around and he can hear me - I'm in charge, not him. My boat, my rules, no exceptions.

And that's what you gotta tell him. Add in "Dude, if it's your boat, or your car, I'll do the same for you, no questions asked".

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The new guy will probably get flamed for disagreeing here, but I do.

1. Why would you want him/them to ditch a drifting boat and swim to the dock? Probably a better idea to throw the anchor and wave someone down for help. Maybe I am misunderstanding though.

2. If it was something so stupid as the shifter not being in neutral, then obviously you didn't offer any troubleshooting advice. In matters like these, never assume the stupid little stuff has been checked.

3. If he doesn't understand the concept of the battery situation, explain calmly why the other battery would be drained instead of just "it won't work".

It sounds like you all argue over other things, so this might only help in this situation, but it appears you got a little hot headed with him. Some simple advice would have had the boat fired up quickly and the whole situation defused.

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The new guy will probably get flamed for disagreeing here, but I do.

1. Why would you want him/them to ditch a drifting boat and swim to the dock? Probably a better idea to throw the anchor and wave someone down for help. Maybe I am misunderstanding though.

2. If it was something so stupid as the shifter not being in neutral, then obviously you didn't offer any troubleshooting advice. In matters like these, never assume the stupid little stuff has been checked.

3. If he doesn't understand the concept of the battery situation, explain calmly why the other battery would be drained instead of just "it won't work".

It sounds like you all argue over other things, so this might only help in this situation, but it appears you got a little hot headed with him. Some simple advice would have had the boat fired up quickly and the whole situation defused.

1) I was never suggesting them to ditch the boat - you've misunderstood. I asked him to start paddling the BOAT back to shore.

2) Yes I learned a lesson that day that even if someone has been out on the boat with me for years I have to assume they're a stupid F* and physically make them double check everything. Shame on me for assuming people can learn the simple stuff after years on the boat, but all in all it's how I troubleshoot problems with other developers at work - walk in assuming they're a total moron and check the little stuff. 80% of the time it's the little stuff so I should apply the same to the boat.

3) Here's where you and I have to agree to disagree. I'd imagine some people don't mind giving a quick explanation of why it isn't working. When I explain things I explain them in detail. I'm also the type of person who simply wants the people on my boat to listen to what I tell them in situations like that WITHOUT explanation because it's my [very] expensive boat. I could understand if this was "just another" possession it be easy not to get so snappy, but this is my baby (wakeboarding is my life - passion), and as such I'm going to want things done my way.

he thing to note here is I'd totally do the same for anyone else in their prized possession. In fact I couldn't IMAGINE doing what he did that day - I would *never* do that to someone. If the sh*t hit the fan i'd be nothing but a**holes and elbows doing whatever the owner wanted. I might make a suggestion along the way if I think I have a good idea, but I'm not going to press it if the owner doesn't want to do it.

Anyways the whole goal of this post was to get a sampling of the people out there and I've found at least a few people that are along the same lines I am which is all I really need. I respect everyone else's methodology and if you can be more lenient with people on your boat - more power to you! I just wanted to know if anyone else out there had expectations like mine because apparently sometimes they can be "high".

If anyone cares, we've talked about the issue in the meantime and I've made myself crystal clear so I doubt it will be a problem in the future.

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