Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
HoustonPerson

Funny Boat Stories

Recommended Posts

HoustonPerson

I guess you could call this just a boat story..........but to me it's funny, and it shows you how spoiled a person can be..........AND what got me to thinking about it was the thread "Boats You Have Owned"

We all have noticed how the swim platform and sunpad relationship is completely different on every boat...............well I was on my friends boat a couple of days ago.........(yes they had me take the pictures)

http://www.wakesiderides.com/rides/index.php?page=out&id=575

His boat is in exactly as good a shape as mine,,,,it looks like a brand new boat and drives like one too...............ok, the story

Most of you are familiar, with the amount of real estate on the swim deck on the LSV,,,,the sunpad is at the perfect angle, and the perfect height..........(yes this story will highlight how spastic I am).............Well on the LSV you can put your board on at least these various ways.

1. Stand up forward (jump off)

2. Stand up backward (jump off)

3. Sit on sunpad, put legs in boots, and jump off.

No matter what it's easy.

Well on my friends boat, the swim deck is so close to the sunpad and the transom is so at such an angle, I could not bend my legs, ended up with only one foot in, attempt the other, board snapped off the deck, I slide down the transom onto my butt.............then I stood up and fell into the river, with only one leg on. Nearly killed myself............I always forget when on someone elses boat to just put the board while facing the front of the boat and just hop off.

Some of the new Tige are sooooooooooooo funny....a 45 degree angle to the transom and you must be at least 7' tall in order for your feet to touch the deck from the sunpad...........I am 5'11" and my feet do not reach it. CC is almost as bad.................Now I know this is not a big deal to 99% of you guys, but funny to me just the same. ROFL.gif

Ok, guys now let the funny boat stories roll.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
HOskier313

Quite a few years ago, when I was real young, I was on vacation with my friends family. At that age, we would double ski together and be notorious for taking marathon runs (sometimes to the point where they would just stop driving us and tell us to get back in the boat). This one time we're skiing together and the next thing we know the boat comes to a quick stop. We weren't skiing that long and thought they were mad at us again until we see a passenger take a Baywatch leap over the side of the boat.

Here, he was holding the brand new puppy we brought along with us, which ended up peeing all over him. Everyone thought it was funny but him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
HoustonPerson

Dogs Stories.....(tried posting this while ago and the site went down - try again)

Last year when I joined the local wakeboard club, Trey (the president of the group) took me and about 10 others out on his SAN to the Trinity....It was after one of the BIG floods in Dallas, and the river was solid sticks, trees, paint cans, Pintos, and Maytags. It was a site - It spooked me, and as a newbie I did not ride that day; but all the others did.

When had a fun time just the same, and after a long hard day (about 9 hours), I ended up in the bow with the two dogs..........they both puked on me at the same time, big time...........everybody else was of course in the rest of the boat............somehow I always become the entertainment.........yes sir, it was a lot of laughs for everyone..................

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
VinRLX

HP, I admire a man who can admit he's been puked on by a couple of dogs. Personally, it's happened to me a few times. . .back in my college days. . .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Wkerat

Not totally boat related, but, as some of you know I help out a local marina with lessons and also by taking people on my boat for demos and on and off as needed (actually I am starting to work there more as we are working out a deal for me to purchase part of it). Anyway a few years back one of my friends and I worked there during the summers and we came in to help while they were putting docks in (happend to be our spring break). The water was all of 40 and it was just cold (winter coats and all that). Well, we got down to the last finger on the dock and one of the irons was bent so the pin would not go in and was only like a mm off. Anyway, instead of looking for a longer rod we tried everything else. First he went on the end and shook it while I tired, but we had no luck. Then I got a sledge hammer and hit the iron hoping to flex it with no luck since it was in slightly in the water. We thought maybe it would work if I could get a better shot so he went on the finger so the inner would lift and i hit the iron. The first few shots the iron began to bend, but then all you heard was "clink" and the rod shot out the other end. It was like a cartoon with my friend looking at me and having just enough time to say "you f***" before the dock flipped and he went flying. What was even funnier though is he ended up on the dock upside down. The mechanic at the marina was there and he and i both almost fell in laughing...Just too funny

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
DRAGON88

Mine is yesterday when we had a local "Inboard" shop (Ski Supreme) inspect my boat for an interested person. The boat of course passes the tests with flying colors, the only complaints from the dealership were:

"Bow light (navigation) wont turn on"

"Rear ski locker wont open"

"Transom light is missing"

I get home, flip on the switch for the bow lights, because it has been known to burn a bulb or two or four. (when it was about a year old) and sure enough, LET THERE BE LIGHT! I guess they couldn't figure out how to turn the light on? Maybe they were pressing the "anchor light" button. Needless to say I got a chuckle out of this.

I also decide to check under the passenger side gunnel to check for the transom light, because it has a holder up under the upholstery to keep the light out of view and out of the way. Yep sure enough, thats where it is... I'll give them this one, granted it's in a somewhat strange location.

The trunk didn't make much sense either, sure enough the latch that "locks" the trunk was closed. The latch wasn't locked its self, just closed. so i press down on that button and sure enough the trunk lifts right up with no protest.

I found it pretty funny that they couldn't figure out simple stuff like that... However what I didn't find funny was how they treated the boat, seriously is it too much to ask to wipe off your hands after you get done messing around with the engine, there was some nice oil residue on my seats. I guess also they thought that my boat needed more color, so they went ahead and put a nice blue ballpoint pen on the interior right next to the throttle. It didn't seem to want to come out either... The owners manual calls for some denatured alcohol followed up with some Fantastic. So I suppose I'll give that a shot.

I was just kind of surprised, it seems like when take a boat in they should have the respect not to wipe their hands and make markings with their ballpoint pens on the white vinyl.

Detailing her for the last time this weekend and the buyer is coming down Monday to pick the boat up. It's gonna be sad to see her go, I have put a lot of time into that boat. Bring on may though, ready for the new boat.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Wkerat

Dogs and boats can be fun, but also can be some trouble...I have a friend whose dog thinks teak means bathroom and while I was picking up my boat last summer they were delivering a boat next to mine and the people brought a dog who not only marked the captains seat as his own, but left a nice pile of love on the ski locker...Nice way to christan your new boat.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
whiteVLX

My retrievers use the platform as well, well at least to pee. To do #2 they both insist on having there butt in the water. It's hillarious to see them jump in then try and to squat to poop. They start to go under and give up on the idea. We end up motoring to shore so they can poop at the waters edge.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jeffmx

When my little guy was about 3 or 4, we were wakeboarding at a lake that had islands. He wanted to go explore so we stopped.

As we are walking along the shore, we came upon a female hygene product, with the string.

"Whats that ?", he asked to my buddy, who was walking with us.

" It's a dead mouse... come on lets get out of here!

To this day, everytime we are at that lake, we cruise past Mouse Island!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
whiteVLX

Interestingly enough my female refuses to poop in the grass when we go camping at the lake. I have to take her out to the lake to do her thing. Crazy.gif

To this day, everytime we are at that lake, we cruise past Mouse Island!

Now that's a classic, and quick thinking on your buddies behalf.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
VinRLX
Interestingly enough my female refuses to poop in the grass when we go camping at the lake. I have to take her out to the lake to do her thing.  Crazy.gif

Perhaps you shouldn't take the CFO camping? Tease2.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
whiteVLX
Interestingly enough my female refuses to poop in the grass when we go camping at the lake. I have to take her out to the lake to do her thing.  Crazy.gif

Perhaps you shouldn't take the CFO camping? Tease2.gif

ROFL.gif

Note to self, don't drink coffe while reading posts from Jack. Now I have a keyboard and monitor to clean up. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
VinRLX

Hoped you knew me well enough not to take offense. Sorry about the keyboard. . .

Throwpc.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Wkerat

At least it did not hinder your posting too much Steve, if so Stewart may still have held his spot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
whiteVLX
Hoped you knew me well enough not to take offense. Sorry about the keyboard. . .

Throwpc.gif

No worries, there's a storeroom full of keyboards across the hall from me. When I get tired of the sticky keys I'll Throwpc.gif take care of the issue. :)

At least it did not hinder your posting too much Steve, if so Stewart may still have held his spot.

I see you've done a nice job of catching him as well. Surprised.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Brad B

Last Saturday a bunch of us guys went surfing.

Water temps were in the very low 60s so most were in shorties.

Until we picked up a mom and her 7 year old girl near the party cove.

The 7 year old was jumpimg in and swimmimng when we changed riders.

We all looked at each other and there was no way we could wear wet suits with this little girl jumping in with just her suit on.

Its been a long time since I've been that cold!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
HoustonPerson

Sat and Sun was a blast, rode all day, hang with friends...........AND, I did not do anything stupid (at least I don't remember) :unsure:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jetskipro550

Since everyone is talking about their dogs going # 2 off the platform I might as well share my story. 2 years ago at Lake shasta my now roomate and I were in our friends brand new wakesetter and he was on the houseboat. We are always pulling pranks on each other so my roomate decided that he was going to take a dump on the platform with me driving the boat really close to the houseboat so our friend could see what was happening to his boat. It was great!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JohnDoe

Last summer I was teaching a friend of mine how to barefoot with a bunch of friends in the boat. He had footed some before but not much, so he was on the boom. Every time he would stand up and we'd be at speed, we'd take turns telling him he had a big snot all over his face, so he would go to wipe his face off and WHAM! faceplant...every time. He must have bit it face first 10 straight times and he never picked up the fact that he was falling when he would let go with one hand to wipe off his face. Every time we circled back around he would be like, "Did I get standing up too straight?" and I'd be like, "yeah, make sure to keep a good bend in your knees" It was hilarious.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
actionadd

A couple of friends and I were at our lake house when I was in collage and were kneeboarding behind my Dad's fishing boat, all of a sudden the boat slowed down. I could not figure it out at low speeds; less than 5mph in would be fine, speed up and it would not go. So I pick up the kneeboarder and cruise back to the house. When we get back I raise the motor up and there is a Turtle stuck to the to it about dead center of his back. When he came off he swam away, how he was still alive after being cut almost in half is a suprise.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SunriseH2OSkier
Every time he would stand up and we'd be at speed, we'd take turns telling him he had a big snot all over his face, so he would go to wipe his face off and WHAM! faceplant...every time.  He must have bit it face first 10 straight times and he never picked up the fact that he was falling when he would let go with one hand to wipe off his face.  Every time we circled back around he would be like, "Did I get standing up too straight?" and I'd be like, "yeah, make sure to keep a good bend in your knees"  It was hilarious.

ROFL.gifROFL.gifROFL.gif

I'm wiping the tears from my eyes, I'm laughing so hard. That has to be the funniest thing I've ever read!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
whiteVLX
Since everyone is talking about their dogs going # 2 off the platform I might as well share my story. 2 years ago at Lake shasta my now roomate and I were in our friends brand new wakesetter and he was on the houseboat. We are always pulling pranks on each other so my roomate decided that he was going to take a dump on the platform with me driving the boat really close to the houseboat so our friend could see what was happening to his boat.  It was great!!!!

Man with friends like like that...:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
VinRLX

yeah, quite a "prank." Vomit.gif

wakebrdgod, good one. You'd think he would've stopped wiping his face after falling on it a few times.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
HRemington

Three years ago, before we got our boat, we went out with a good friend on his Malibu Flitecraft (the only OB to have if you're going to have one) for a day of barefooting instruction as he is a regionally ranked barefooter. After a full afternoon and with the sun beginning to beautifully set, he suggested for fun that we go ripping through some of the backwater areas of the Pearl River that he knew like the back of his hand, to look for alligators. The kids thought this would be great, and as we tore through narrow passages of lily pads, we did spot a resting 'gator or two.

Then up ahead, there was a large white crane (or egret) standing off to the side on top of the lily pads. Dickie started the boat bearing down toward the bird, with the kids cheering him on, "get the bird! get the bird!" As we bore down on him at 40 mph, he finally decided to take flight and flee (lumber) for his life. The bird struggled to get off the water and gain speed, flapping his wings as madly as he could, but seeing the boat continue to close the gap. The kids got more and more excited as the bird was centered in our sights and barely gaining altitude.

At this point, I saw the bird look back over his shoulder (do birds have shoulders?) a couple of times with a very concerned look on his face. Each time he would redouble his efforts to pull away and escape for his life, and each time he glanced back we were closer. It was about this moment in time that my adult brain began to rapidly process information amid the cacophony of childrens' gleeful laughter. I came to the realization that those anxious looks from the bird might not be anxiety at all, but rather malevolence. He wasn't looking back to assess his chances of escape, he was centering us in his sights. My brain was desperately trying to fire off a message to my mouth, and the words, "You know, if we push him too hard he just might..." were coursing their way through my nervous system, but they arrived too late.

At that very moment, the bird open the bombing hatch and unloaded , and I mean what at first appeared to be something akin to a long, white parachute unfurling from the posterior of the bird. This was no mere burst or squirt, but an impossibly voluminous horizontal geyser aimed squarely at us. It seemed the torrent was still exiting the bird while the leading edge of the tsunami slammed into the windshield as we all headed for the lowest lying ground we could find in the boat. The trajectory of the vile stream cause it to bank off the windshield, up to the underside of the bimini, then along the side of the boat and spattering on one of my sons who was unfortunately too slow to react.

We all were now enveloped in maniacal laughter, except for the one son, who was screaming "gross!!!" while trying to wash off the foul fish-reeking tapioca. We laughed 'til our sides hurt, watched the sun sink into the reservoir, and headed back to the dock with a boat load of memories.

Edited by HRemington

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sheeprides

The Parker strip along the Colorado river in Arizona is well know for some beautiful scenery and great skiing/wakeboarding water. It's also known for some serious parties and lots of alcohol. Several years ago, myself and a few friends were at a local bar on the water that gets pretty busy during the day. The bar floats on the water and people pull up and dock right to it giving the patron a great view of the river. From time to time, some jack-a$$ will cruise by the bar at slow speeds but get real close to the platform to "impress" the ladies. Sure enough it happened that day and it was a guy in a runabout pulling a skier. As the boat went past, the dock swayed a little and everyone looked over. Just then the skier was passing, lifting one ski out of the water trying to hot-dog a little. WHACK. He caught a tip and faceplanted right in front of the whole bar. I watched about 75 cups of various alcohol raise and a collective "YEAHHHHHH" erupt from the crowd. It was a good day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×